Un-Understanding

My mother died when I was 19.  That was a long time ago, but it’s still vivid in my mind.  It was a sad period in my life, of course, but also a strange one.

 

After her death, I remember thinking that I wasn’t feeling as horrible as I thought I should.  There was a certain peace inside me.  For awhile I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  I told a friend, “I feel peace and I don’t understand why.”  Hearing my own words, the explanation became clear, as I recalled the scripture that says God gives us “peace that passes all understanding.”

 

If I understood it, I realized, it wouldn’t be the peace that passes understanding.

 

Today there are many things I don’t understand.  Sometimes it’s better to just accept them as from the hand of God, rather than try to analyze.  Un-understanding can be a divine gift.

 

 

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3 Responses to Un-Understanding

  1. Anonymous says:

    19 is such a young age to lose a parent,one you held so dear. I am so sorry for the pain you felt but thankful God granted you that peace beyond understanding. It is a gift. May we all feel it. Thank you for the message.

  2. Susan says:

    well said!

  3. Angel 22 says:

    I vividly remember the last visit I had with your mom. She was in her hospital room facing uncertainty with the procedures that were ahead of her. We talked at length and she was experiencing the same peace that you did after her death. God gave both of you the same gift under different circumstances. A precious gift from a loving God who gave you a mother who loved you.

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