People complain that God is often vague about what He does. Perhaps He’s like that intentionally. Maybe there’s a bigger picture in His mind.
God is supremely interested in having a relationship with each human, individually. If all His dealings with us were cookie-cutter and predictable, the interactions would be static and dry.
To one, He grants that good fortune and allows this trial. To another person, it’s the opposite. Both say “Why, God?” and seek Him for answers. Exactly what He wanted. And even when the requests are filled with emotion of all types, that’s OK with God. Nothing is off limits … that’s just the kind of friend He is.
Many scripture passages point to this truth. We read that “His ways are higher than our ways,” and “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter.” We’re also told that we will find God when we seek Him with all our hearts. Personally, I may never get there in this lifetime, but it’s a great promise nonetheless.
It would be wonderful to have God figured out, to know exactly why He does everything He does. He’s chosen not to allow that, however, opting instead for a fluid one-on-One dialogue, which He prefers. And to accomplish that, He’s sometimes vague on purpose.
I firmly believe that whenever someone seeks God that individual will not be left in a vacuum. God will reveal Himself and such revelation will continue as long as there is a positive response to the light which is given. By the same token, I often long for greater clarity and wisdom about God’s ways, especially as they work in my life. Perhaps the real challenge is to learn to live with the ambiguity and know that the work He has begun in me will be completed.
Years of sexual abuse and emotional pain left me with so many questions that all consisted of “Why, God?” My faith was greatly tested. Over the years, I developed a sensitivity to other people’s needs and now I am empowered through what I have suffered. My relationship with God has turned my pain, weakness, and mistakes into such insight and clarity of the furthest depths of my soul. If it was my choice I would have preferred to enjoyed these benefits with much less suffering, however, through Him I am able to understand that my pain and trauma allows me to comfort others who have suffered in any trouble. I find comfort knowing that God does not spare my pain to further His cause.
Having a relationship with God is as complex as any relationship can be. I have found it can be rich and exciting and frustrating at times but I wouldn’t trade it for a life without Him. I tried life on my own and it didn’t even compare.
I also wanted to respond to the “Anonymous” comment. I can’t say I know exactly the pain you have gone through but your words reminded me of something I read once. It was in “Tortured For Christ” by Richard Wurmbrand. I remember asking God how He could allow His people to be tortured so and then I read something in that book that gave me comfort even though it didn’t dry my tears. The author likened our suffering to a rose that is crushed. When a rose is crushed it brings its greatest fragrance. I too wish I could skip the pains of my life but since I could not then I only hope and pray that God uses it to bring a fragrance of Him to others.